


if you love someone, don’t let them go.

by bowiesoddity



Category: The Ultimate Sidemen
Genre: Bisexuality, Comfort, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29755485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bowiesoddity/pseuds/bowiesoddity
Summary: Harry realises his feelings for Ethan are more than they seem.He goes to Lux for support.
Relationships: Harry Lewis/Ethan Payne
Comments: 17
Kudos: 30





	if you love someone, don’t let them go.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jolly_Rancherz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jolly_Rancherz/gifts).



It was one in the morning when Harry realised something about himself he’d been questioning for a few months now.  
He had been lying on his back in his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling above him when it finally clicked in his mind.  
He had a crush on Ethan.  
Not one of those school crushes that disappear after a few weeks, the type of crush that means you’re slowly falling in love with someone.

Harry’s eyes filled with tears as he shot into a sitting position.

He knew if he came out as bisexual that everyone would be okay with it. He had an amazing family who would love him no matter what, supportive and a wonderful group of friends who’d be more proud of him than anything else. Nobody would mind- but if Harry where to ever tell them the reason he figured it out... nothing would ever be the same. Especially because Ethan was straight, right? As far as Harry knew, he was.

The blonde knew Freezy was asleep in the room beside his, but he also knew Lux had stayed over in the spare room for a few days. Perhaps he hadn’t fallen asleep yet? Harry knew, even if he did wake Lux up, that the oldest of the trio wouldn’t mind if his routine was slightly interrupted.

So- that’s what Harry did.  
He stood up slowly, wiping harshly at his eyes to remove any sign of sadness and confusion and he grabbed a blanket before wrapping it around himself. Despite having his ‘Childish’ hoodie on, gifted so kindly by the TGF boys, he still felt cold.   
The blonde shuffled across the floor of his room, opened the door slowly and began wondering quietly through the apartment and towards the spare room.

The door was left open slightly and the light was on. Harry saw this as a massive bonus and when he pushed the door open slightly further, Lux turned to him with a small smile on his face:

“Hey, Harry.” He says from his spot laying on the bed with his phone in his hand, voice quiet: “Can’t sleep?” He asks and the blonde shrugs gently:

“Something like that.” Harry had responded and Lux raised his eyebrows slightly.

“Want to talk about something?” Lux asks and Harry mentally curses because he forgets the older male can read him like a book.

“I guess.” Harry responds and his voice is small as he tightens the blanket around his body. Lux nodded and sat up, patting the spot on the mattress that was beside him and Harry kicked the spare room door closed with his foot before he shuffled to sit beside Lux.

“What’s got you so worked up, Bog?” Lux asks and it’s sort of strange because Cal is one of the people who refer to him with that nickname the least. The most? Probably Ethan.

“I think I like someone.” Harry says as he glances to the floor in the spare room, “No- I know I like someone.” He says.

“Right...” Lux began and there’s clear confusion in his tone: “Who's the girl?” He questions and that’s when Harry’s heart skipped a beat within his chest and he suddenly felt sick.

“Uh-.” Harry began quietly and blinked away the tears that where forming in his eyes.

Something seems to click on Lux’s mind then and he moved slightly closer to his friend and rested his hand on Harry’s shoulder gently: “Harry-.” He began but can’t finish because the blonde is looking at him with tear filled eyes:

“It’s not a girl, Lux.” He says, voice wobbly and, at that moment, Lux decides the best thing to do right now is bring the blonde in for a war, embrace.

Harry falls into the arms of his friend quickly as the sob that leaves his body shakes his frame completely. Lux holds onto him tighter and his heart shatters when Harry sobs again and the blanket falls from the blondes shoulders to his waist as he grips onto the hoodie Lux was wearing.

“It’s okay, Boggo.” Lux had said softly and Harry’s head shook frantically against its position on his shoulder:

“It’s no-not okay.” Harry says through the tears streaming down his face.

Lux’s voice comes out soft, “Oh, Harry-.”

“It’s not fair.” Harry whimpers softly, seeming to have calmed down slightly. The blonde pulls away from Lux then, suddenly feeling claustrophobic and he exhaled rapidly. “It’s not fair... why did I have to fall in love with him? Why couldn’t it have been anyone else?”

“Bog-.”

“I can’t be near him anymore, Lux. I can’t be in the same room as Ethan without thinking of the thing that I’m hiding from everyone and-.”

“Ethan?” Lux asks slowly and his sympathetic tone makes Harry whimper gentle.

“Yeah...” Harry says and there’s a chuckle that seems to escape within his words: “Pathetic, right?”

“No.” Lux shakes his head, “No, not at all. You can’t help it.”

“But I can’t...”

“Harry, listen to me.” Lux started slowly and the blonde turns to look at him again, “It’s okay, alright? This is a part of you, a great part of you that you can finally accept and inform people about. You don’t have to tell people until you’re ready. Don’t put pressure on yourself to do it immediately. You’re so loved, Bog. You’re so loved by so many people. Nothing will change that, okay? Nothing at all.” He says.

“Lux-.”

“You know I love you, right?” He asks gentle and Harry nods slowly. “Please, please, never think that this will change anything. It won’t, okay? Maybe, just maybe... he feels the same way?”

“Why would he?”

“Just trust me.... he might do.” Lux nods gently, thinking back to the conversation between Freezy and Ethan that he overheard last week, and then brings Harry in for a hug again.

——  
The following day, Harry is confused yet proud when Ethan comes out as pansexual.  
A few days after that, he works up the courage to tell the boys he’s bisexual and he does so just before he leaves Tobi’s flat in order to go home.  
When, half way down the street, he hears Ethan calling his name.  
The pair share a kiss in the pouring rain.


End file.
